The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
