Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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