he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
