whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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