Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize