I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
