Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize