He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
