considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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