i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
