Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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