yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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