Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
