I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
