So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
