Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
