I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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