Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
