She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
