the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize