Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
