i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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