HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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