Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize