I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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