My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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