dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
