I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
