I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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