So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize