So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
