just come out here and I will go home with you...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
