last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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