I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
