white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Come on in and take your pants off
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