Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
