Church boner. Awkwardddd
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
