Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
