she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Can I color on your dick again?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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