I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
