sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I believe in your delicious
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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