He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
