You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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