So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
