Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
pray to the hookup gods
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I love you.
Bad choice
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
