I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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