wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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