Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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