I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
