Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
