Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I need a beard to bite.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
