The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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