try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize