I'm going to jail i love you
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
