At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
