I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
