i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
