The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
