Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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