You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
