how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
